Why can’t people understand that working from home IS a full time job? Every mother knows how hard daily child rearing tasks can be even on a good day. Consider how difficult it would be to actually work and parent at the same time. The idea that it is even possible to do both effectively is a little crazy. I enjoyed this post I found on Work It Mom because of her style and her realistic views.
Working From Home IS a Full Time Job
In my three-plus years as a parent, the subject of my WAHMness hasn’t created even a ripple in the wavepool of moms judging other moms…unless you count the three times it came up last month.
“Oh, you work from home? That must be nice. But then why is your son in full-time daycare?”
“Um…because I’m working?”
The fact that my desk is the kitchen table and my cats are my coworkers doesn’t mean I can divide my time between my job and my child any better at home than I’d be able to in a formal office setting (unless I just sat my son in front of the t.v. all day, which he’d probably LOVE, but no), and yet there are apparently a handful of people out there who don’t quite understand that I can’t do my job and actively parent my son at the same time. Maybe I’m being a hippy here, but parenting isn’t about mere proximity to your kids, it’s about actually engaging with them, right? I can hardly do that when I’m up to my eyebrows in deadlines.
I’ve been surprised to hear the logic (or lack thereof) coming out of peoples’ mouths when they’ve said these things to me (especially three times in a matter of weeks), but although I’ve been taken aback, I haven’t been offended, per se. I know (or like to believe; “Benefit of the Doubt” is my middle name) that an outside judgment of my personal decision is more likely to be a reflection of the judger than the judged. Perhaps the mom who says these things wishes she could work from homewhile spending time with her kids.
Or perhaps she’s attempting to justify the time she spends at the office, assuaging the guilt that can come with that through careless comments about another’s situation. Or perhaps she doesn’t want to work at all and would be a stay-at-home mom in a heartbeat if that were possible. I don’t know. I can’t know. And it doesn’t matter, really. Her situation has no bearing on mine, just as mine has none on hers. Weird, though, how we still sometimes act like they do.
Working from home is a full time job and so is being a parent and speaking from experience I can concur that working from home and trying to manage with young children at the same time isn’t good for either the parent or the child. Unless you run a daycare center and then more power to you.
What are your thoughts?