Should stay at home moms get help with kids and chores? I happen to agree with Jennifer Fulwiler who writes for the National Catholic Register. Society in general believes that if you are a stay at home mom then you must have all the time in the world to handle kids and chores, after all you are not “working.” The perception is that you are so fortunate to be able to stay at home that if you show the slightest need for any time to yourself you are shirking your responsibilities or even “lazy”. So if you ask me “Should stay at home moms get help with kids and chores? I say YES!
There’s this idea out there that it’s self-indulgent for a woman who stays home to have help. After all, the thinking goes, isn’t one of the big benefits of staying home that you don’t have to spend money on childcare? It’s also seen as yet another luxury of the modern era: Moms have been raising kids for thousands of years without babysitters and maids. Why can’t modern women buck up and do the same?
I don’t think it’s self-indulgent at all for stay-at-home moms to have help, especially those who have children who don’t go to school (e.g. homeschoolers or moms of babies and toddlers). In fact, I would say it’s closer to a necessity than a luxury.
When I studied anthropology in college, one of the things that stood out to me the most was the element of community: In pretty much every time and place outside of modern Western culture, people lived around family all their lives. The average person was surrounded by brothers, sisters, cousins, aunts, uncles, nieces and nephews.
For women, the work of raising children was not done alone: Younger nieces and cousins would help with the little kids, the women would socialize as they gathered water or washed clothes, all the children playing together around them. This is the kind of life we were designed for.
In contrast, the average modern woman who is out of the workforce lives her life on a suburban desert island. The nearest family member lives miles (if not thousands of miles) away. She doesn’t know all the people on her street, and not many of them have kids anyway. If she’s like many Americans, she’s moved within the past few years, losing any sense of community she’d built in the last place she lived.
Any opportunities for socializing with other women involve the herculean effort of packing up all the kids in the car to drive somewhere. She doesn’t even have the age-old mother’s release valve of banishing the kids outside and telling them to come back at mealtime, since safety concerns mean she has to keep them within sight at all times. This is an incredibly unnatural way to live.
As a mom who has worked outside the home, stayed home with the kids and run a business from home I can tell you this…anytime a mother can get any kind of help with chores or kids she should go for it and not feel the least bit guilty. If you do everything your self and do not get any help, you are setting yourself up for a disaster. There is no “S” tattoo on your chest, you are not Super human! Therefore, the answer to the question “Should stay at home moms get help with chores and kids?” Is absolutely, positively, YES. In fact ALL mothers should have help with chores and kids!
Let me know what you think