Working moms and dads sacrifice a lot for their kids and raising kids requires a lot of everything these days. Patience, money, time, creativity, and sleep. Forget the last one…you won’t be getting much sleep for a while. Our article today is a case of a family that, like most families is a work in progress. Certainly working moms and dads sacrifice a lot for their kids in order to secure the best future possible.
“More and more I find stay at home dads at the park with their kids, while mom is off at work. I have a number of friend who live that scenario. I lived that scenario. I still do, though it is a bit more complicated than my wife, Madhavi, going off to work while I stay home with our 18 month old Anjali.”
“Why do I think this role shifting is bittersweet?”
“The sweet part is that we stay at home papas get more time with our kids than the typical working dad. That means more connection and involvement. The bitter part is that, especially in the early years, a sacred and beautiful bond is being broken, at least partially.”
“It is my strongest belief that, at least in the first year, babies have a biological, an emotional and a physical need to be with their mothers. Mom, after all, grew this baby for nine months and birthed her. They were physically connected for all of that time.”
A Little Back Story
“The short story is that Madhavi earns more than me, and therefore is the main earner in our family.”
“I earn my living mainly from gigs and some teaching, but also from licensing, producing and CD sales. We own some rental properties, so I oversee everything related to that, including financing, bookkeeping, maintenence, etc.”
“My wife left her job as a Headache Specialist in March in part because she no longer enjoyed clinical practice, because she always wanted to work at home and most certainly to have more time with Anjali.”
“Since Anjali’s birth, she worked part time at her practice. She plunged and immediately found a job using her skills that allowed her to work part time and to be at home. She is given a few nursing breaks throughout her day, so she was able to ditch the pump.”
So now, Madhavi and I are both work-from-home parents.
“Ultimately, something has to give. Especially if a mother is working full time, either the quantity of time she spends with her kids suffers, or the quantity of her personal time suffers.”
“Unfortunately, we live in a culture where food, housing, insurance and the basic cost of living is expensive. We also live in a culture where moms are now expected, or at least encouraged, to work very shortly after giving birth.”
“Often…She is in a situation where she is the main earner in her family, and she knows she cannot function well after long nights of nursing and many wake ups.”
“I see how Madhavi struggles with sleep. Even working part time, she feels like her brain is just being stretched. Madhavi chooses, however, to sacrifice her own sleep and her own time in order to provide our daughter with the love and nurturing she deserves.”
It’s All About Balance
“Today, on one of Madhavi’s days off, I took Anjali to our friends’ party. This gave Madhavi a good chunk of time to reconnect with herself, to work on some of her goals, and even to start sewing a doll for Anjali, a project she has been wanting to get to but hasn’t had time.”
“A friend of mine from college used to say, “It’s all about balance.” This is one of the many times I hear that phrase echoing in my head. Everything we do as parents is about balance.”
“I think it is a prerequisite, as a parent, to sacrifice at least a piece of ourselves, and usually more. It is a balancing act to give so much of ourselves, and yet maintain our individuality.”
I agree with the old college buddy It is all about finding the right balance for you and your family.Leaving all the work at home or stay at home mom debate out of it for a moment…lets remember that in general, most working moms and dads sacrifice a lot for their kids. Parents sacrifice personally and professionally when they put their family first at all times.
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